I have a weird relationship to food. I used to have eating disorders. I binged, purged, starved, over ate. I've tried nearly every diet. I've fasted. I've restricted.

Currently I'm loving who I am and learning to love the body I live in. I am appreciated by kind lovers who not only love my personality and mind but also my body.

The women in my family have hated their bodies, and felt guilt about what they consume their whole lives. Through thick and thin, and they have never found peace.

I want peace.

I currently eat whatever I want. I give in to any craving I have. Yes I've gained a little extra weight (5lbs), but I was already overweight and it's the only thing I haven't tried.

Amazingly the food I've craved such as pizza and any combination of bread and cheese is actually becoming disgusting too me now.

My cravings are starting to turn towards water, fruit, veggies, etc.

However, I have stomach problems. I've been to the doctor time and again, but they aren't sure what it is. Maybe it's stress, recently they said irritable bowel, but whatever it is I end up getting sick even when there is nothing to throw up.

Some times I simply CANNOT eat for days. This has presented a problem as not eating is really my only trigger--but it's a big one. After a week of getting sick for even touching water or saltines--It becomes harder and hard to want to eat...

I don't like this.

So this blog is to keep me more aware of what I eat, document my food/body image struggles, a place to be whiny and crybaby like with out friends and family being forced to see it (like on facebook). Its also a place to reblog motivating images about body image, food, and exercise.

Thought I am no longer ana, or mia, it is a safe space for other people with body image issues. No judgment--the ed community is probably the only place I've ever felt comfortable in discussing food issues, I hope to support others to be as healthy as possible while lost in their own ED's and support anyone who is trying to recover.

(no thinspo here)